Dream Job

I don't want to have to work at Brookshires over the break. Yet I know how badly we need the extra money & I definitely do not want to add to the burdens mom & dad have.

All I want is to open my bakery. It's the dream job I've always wanted. I didn't even want to go to State... I wanted to go to culinary school instead, but mom & dad wanted me to get a bachelors degree in something (hence the food science degree!).

I know that opening my own bakery will be hard. It will take a lot of time, patience, sweat, tears, maybe even blood, and a whole lotta money. But that's all I've kept thinking about this past year, especially since I'm so close to graduating.

I keep dreaming up recipes & menus, designs & the layout, uniforms & cleaning, etc etc. Boring things that only I would think about this far in advance & get excited about. I yearn for the tiredness I'll feel, the pain in my feet from standing all day, the stress in having to make decisions & deal with day to day operations. All weird things that most people would normally shy away from, but it's something I genuinely want.

I almost feel like there's an emptiness in me since I know that I'm nowhere near seeing this dream of mine come true. I know I'll have to work at Brookshires, or a bunch of other jobs I won't like. I know that I have student loans I need to pay off once I graduate. I know I have hardly any credit and will have one heck of a time if I want to get a business loan. I know that I'll need even more money to start up the joint and will be lucky if I start seeing ends meet & maybe making a little extra in five years. I know all of these hard things and so it makes me sad. And it makes me upset. And I stay up thinking about all this and so it makes me tired.

But it's time for me to grow up and just deal with all these facts. I'll need to suck it up and just do the things I don't want to do and try to be happy about it.